- Yes, they are ALL mine! Answers to those rude questions about large families! by The Garden Goat
- Rude Questions about the number of children you have
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Gorgeous family. All day, every day. I can not tell you the number of times people have said the same things or similar things to me. Hundreds probably. Thank you for the donation to our college fund! You guys looked like you had such a fun time! People really need to sort of MYOB about family size and reproductive choices in general. You just never know. I had a lovely and well meaning family member ask when we were having a second, little knowing that I was just recovering from a 2nd miscarriage in our attempt to do just that. I have had one, too and while it was later in the pregnancy and most people knew about it, there were still very awkward questions and people in our business.
And, yeah, people say even worse things after a miscarriage in my opinion. Thank you, Krystyn. I remember when you had your loss and was so pleased for you when the next came along. I enjoy seeing you and your husband revel in your beautiful sweet gaggle of girls. The next time you hear 1, consider it a compliment. I know I am guilty of this one, and that is the intention. I say it because I am jealous. Therefore I am in awe of anyone I see with more than two kids that is amazing and rocking it. My mom is too!! Big families ROCK!!
Your four girls are wonderful — the more kids, the more love there is to go around!! We often get the same comments, just insert 5 girls instead of 4. We have noticed a recent surge in compliments, so maybe manners are making a comeback! By the way, you have a beautiful family! So nice to meet you! And while I can say yes, yes we are, still, whose business is that??? People always think they can say what they want. I for one think your family is beautiful.
We went on vacation last week to see my cousin and her family in Canda, she has 7. The funny thing is, when we are together, we have 10 altogether and there have a been a few times that we have been with our kids and only one of our husbands. Since our kids resemble each other in features we figure people think we are sister-wives. Great insight, my friend!
Heh, heh, heh. I did a post similar to this a while back. You see 4 well behaved children and that is the first thought that pops into your head? And then you let it out of your mouth???? Some people are just so clueless. My favorite line was when my pharmacist asked me if this was my first pregnancy and I said no this is my fourth and fifth!! His face was priceless! I have three redheads and had one more baby after the twins We were quite a sight!
People are going to go ballistic, lol. Did you post something like this before? I thought of it as the other day I saw a mom with her triplets at a breakfast place where I was eating. She had a big smile on her face grateful for a nice comment. I think I did post something about our friend with triplets the blog is so old, I forget!! I think it is wonderful that you have 4 girls.
They are so cute. I grew up in a big family, and I loved it. Now I have 3 other sisters and two brothers that I get to hang out with. I for a second could not find your baby, but I looked closer and saw your baby in its carrier hanging on you. How cute!! Yeah…she was definitely hidden in the carrier! Oh my every single of those I hear daily! Drives me batty. I have 5 kids that live at home, 1 that lives with the ex.
Ugh this is on my top 5 pet peeves about people. I think it is so weird that people think they can say these kinds of things but also — when did 4 kids become a crazy amount of kids?! GOD bless you!!!! Between our 2nd and 3rd daughters, I actually had a miscarriage. It was a boy.
Yeah, when I get really feisty, I so want to throw that out there. I married for the second time then we had 4 kids combined and got some of the same so I can definitely relate to this post. I LOVE this! This is great!! My grandparents moved to Utah several years ago…I wrote this post and my grandma emailed me and said the same thing! Actually, she said we have a small family! Thank you! His children are part African American, so as you could imagine we get a lot of looks when we are out. I really become uncomfortable about the comments that seem these people are trying to get more information like did we adopt.
One lady stopped and asked if they were ours, and I said yes I am part black so naturally half my children would be white and half would be black. I said it with a smile, and I was so tickled when her face twisted into confusion. She was not the first that day so it felt good to have some relief.
Thank you!! This may be irrelevant for many, but I have learned that your own opinion and confidence level on your family size greatly influences what others say, and how you choose to take it. Due to this, she tends to interpret every comment that comes her way negatively. The bottom line is: what do you think of your children? Are they blessings, are they wanted? Do you see them as a joy or a burden? I am convinced that this all shows in our interaction with our children and plays a much bigger part than we realize into what complete strangers feel comfortable saying to us.
I have had the occasional snarky comment, but overall, I am told repeatedly, over and over again,what a beautiful family I have when in public. I truly believe it is because I myself think that also, not egotisticaly, but with gratitude to a loving Father. Kate, I love, love, love what you just shared and think it is so true.
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Thank you for sharing such wisdom! You must be busy! Because it IS work. But it is good work. Worthwhile work. My favorite work! Easier to remember when you just use that one line, too.
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I like it! Oy… that comment is one that just makes me inwardly groan! How in the world are we expected to respond?! I agree. We are talking about this in public? You are telling me how to use birth control? Depending on how I feel and who is the audience, I have a fun reply: rumble my hair and my glasses; slump and make a face and say, you mean, like this? I think I have only really answered that way up to three times. But they had fun too…. I do carry a picture of my family with 9 grandchildren with me.
So, really? You have eight children? I ask if they would like to see a picture? What is really amazing is that we all look at least decent in the picture, but you can tell we all love each other and that is what people see. Rude responses are not a good thing. That you are encouraging Bible-based replies to people trapped in darkness is a wonderful thing. Biology alone determines how many children a body can have. Are parents considering the cost of college for all these kids? Does education even matter to these types of families? As an only child I had a fantastic life with attentive parents and many life experiences, while my husband one of five kids had never taken a vacation, been on a roller coaster, rarely ate out, had any opportunities or even visited the dentist.
I think it could also be said with kindness and sincerity, so much of it might depend on delivery. Wisdom is always needed when relating to others. Moms with families of any size recognize the blessing of having their hands full as most of us know the heartache that friends and family experience when they are unable to have children, and some with children now experienced infertility in the past. To go into your other statements, it might help if you read some of my previous posts regarding large families since some of these points were addressed there.
To say that there is a lack of resources and attention for children in large families lumps a diverse group of families into one category based perhaps on your own experience. Regarding college and education, do you honestly think that because a family has more children, education means less to them? That seems like an awfully unfair assumption. I think a happy childhood is much more than vacations and eating out, though those can be happy experiences if the family chooses.
A beautiful childhood can be formed in the simplicity of a loving home and family, too. That response was very rude and judgmental. To say that there is no way to give kids attention. I have 6 kids. The older ones have all been to the dentist within the last 6 months. We go on at least one big vacation each year not counting camping or weekend trips. We take turns taking one on errands, so they get alone time with mom or dad.
To say that there is no way seems very judgemental. Or maybe any large family at all?
Kristen Smith, your reply was very graceful and kind. I hope that any one who feels this way about large families would take the time to read your other articles, or get to know a large family personally before they decide that it is a bad thing. I grew up in a very poor family of ten, and I can tell you, I would not trade one sibling, for a fancy vacation, or expensive clothes, or expensive food, or all three. Growing up poor helped build my character. Being from a large family is challenging, but not a disadvantage by a long shot! That hit my heart and I hope with everything in me that my children will feel that way about their siblings when they are adults.
Nope, twos enough for me. I even think i said once: Four?!!!! I did not say this, but think about it: what if one dies and the other has to be alone for a long long time. It is usually said to me as a kind stranger helps me with my groceries or holds a door open for my double stroller. It is even said to me by other parents of large families as they excuse my inability to do something at that moment or do me a favor or other kindness. I can only think of one time where someone told me I had my hands full and not in a positive way.
I am 12 weeks pregnant the with our 3rd. We have a 5 year old boy and a 10 month old boy now. Sadly they found out before we planned. His oldest sister just hard their 8th baby. Luckily I was excited to tell them and they were all very excited too! Since we have both boys, almost every that knows has made at least one comment about they hope we have a girl. No matter if this baby is a boy or girl we will still be blessed and very happy!
I know they mean well but I will love all my babies the same no matter what! Wow, Bri. Perhaps over time your family will start to change his heart towards babies. One time, a woman came up to me in the bank and admired my youngest who was 8 months at the time. I had her when I was 42 so I was a bit older than the average mom. Thanks you for your support.
Unbelievable what people will say and in front of babies. I was 45 when I had my youngest. Well, i think there are some lessons in life that you would learn only when you are from a large family. Granted some comments are not as rude as others. Some may be genuinely asked out of interest. However, comments that directly relate to my private life are on the rude side just by the fact a stranger thinks they have the right to ask them. I get that small talk can be awkward. All of their kids and I my cousins all live very close together and have been raised in the same neighborhood, school, community, etc.
Thanks for the vote of confidence! As father and mother of ONLY 6, we have gotten many of the same questions. We also home school through 8th grade. I like to say, since you never did do it, you will never know if you could have! For the time to yourselves answer you could also say, at least 9 times. So many complain about their kids and I want to ask them why they had them then? Or tell them I would be glad to take them, they would fit right in at out house!
A fun read! Thanks and congrats on being FP! Oops, that is, they would fit right in at our house! With 8 in the house some one is always in the bathroom it seems! Thanks for the suggestions kind words and congrats. I am not from a big family, but I think the most caring of people do come from large families. And they make the world a better place. Thanks for your kind words and support-Taking a while to get back to everyone as the response to this blog post was like an avalanche!
I am a parent to three. I drive a Chevy and have a lousy singing voice. I marvel at people with terrific voices and those that drive Land Rovers. I also marvel at other types of over achievers. Rest assured I will say something stupid to you when next we meet at the grocery store but not because there is blame for something that needs be placed.
You are just better than me at something obvious and I am in awe. Good post. Glad I read it. Awesome-thanks for the understanding…and support. No…it was just meant to be a funny picture that I found that showed some of the ideas out there about big families-To understand the picture you need a sense of humour! Very funny! My favorite is 7 with response number 1. Hee hee! And I have heard some of these or as least other people talking about being asked these questions. Completely inundated with reponses…still going through the comments- thanks for your comment and for your patience!
I love this. I make up answers like this as well. I only have four and people look at me like I am insane! As the oldest of 5 girls growing up I listened to my mother constantly dodge these very same questions at the grocery store, school functions, restaurants, everywhere. Now I have 5 kids of my own, and once a man and woman approached my husband at our table in a restaurant after blatantly staring at our family throughout their dinner. We also love cash donations. Once when I was about 10 or so, she was pregnant with the 5th one of us, and we were in line at the grocery store and some old lady behind her told her that she was disgusting for having so many children.
It upset her so much that she left all the groceries on the conveyer belt and ran out of the store crying, while I was left to gather my sisters and brother and take them back out to the car under the murderous gaze of the old hag. I always felt so bad for my mom when those things happened.
People can be very cruel. Good for you for having a sense of humour in dealing with them! Glad you like my post! Thanks for the reblog-and your support! Thanks for your kind words- Taking a while to get back to everyone as the response to this blog post was like an avalanche! Hilarious responses. I have three. Would have had a dozen or more had it not been for 2 still births, a death at 18 months and 16 years of infertility. I love it. Thanks for loving this post!!! I have heard some unbelievably rude things myself.
My favorite was a woman who felt the need to lecture me on the fact that I am too old to be having children and should have been content with my daughter. She told me I was a very selfish person for having more. I feel your pain, but love the humor with which you handle it. Laughter truly is the best medicine! I would be so done if I did not find humour in everyday life!
I still believe that it harbored a very strong desire to think less of my own needs and more of others. And if there are people out there that wanna rag on it, I feel bad for them. Though they do provide grounds for hilariousness via their ignorance. Thanks for the laughs! Ii love thisi only have four but 3 age 1 and under. Thank-you for giving me some new responses. Kudos to a big family I love ours and although were done. Thanks for your kind words. Having had 6, I met the same questions, and I wish I would have read your replies earlier, that would have helped a lot, lol!!!
I have only 4 children and I still get some of those questions… It certainly seems like the moment you are pregnant or have children, you become a target for the most intimate questions by perfect strangers who would normally never speak to you. I love your post! I am number ten of fourteen and grew up hearing so many of the comments you posted… and a whole lot more; some to mean-spirited to publish. But the one that always sticks in my mind is one told to me by my mom, bless her. When I was four, my 3 year old brother passed away and after the services one of the well-meaning folks from the church??
I am having my cup of tea in the morning and definitely this is the kind of News I want to read. What a laugh! You are a blessing! Thanks for your response and for your patience The Garden Goat. What do you think? I only have two children — they just happen to be 15 years apart — and, I, too, get asked similar rude questions. Seriously, who are these people? Thanks for your kind words- I have been totally swamped with replies and only getting to moderate these now-Thanks for your patience-.
I used to be regarded as anything from mad to incredible for having 4 children when I was in the UK. I really was a rarity. What is most wonderful is that we are so normal here that no-one has even asked us anything other than our childrens names.
Yes, they are ALL mine! Answers to those rude questions about large families! by The Garden Goat
There are families with anything from 2 to 9 children. What makes it especially beneficial is that the parents have more ownership over the school and a greater relationship with each of the teachers — which makes it to be familial, welcoming and friendly. I prefer to smile to myself and think — if only they knew what they were missing! Thank you for the wonderful story.
My children for a time where in a similar school and I loved it so did they it was the best school ever. No one ever said a word to my family as the whole school was similar to the one your children are now in! The demographics incorporated over 40 different denominations and larger families made up a significant portion of the school membership. The parents volunteered and as a result the playground was well supervised and no child was teased for having numerous siblings!
You do really well not to punch some of those people in the face!!!! I like to think so.. Excellent write up. Large families were quite the norm in our part of the world with the previous generation. But then they budgeted the kids… and now, well, you know!!! I am sharing this post…. God Bless and carry on!!!! You completely made my morning! Very happy to learn of your thievery! Thanks for the kind words.
Rude Questions about the number of children you have
Glad to hear that! When people find out I entered into a relationship with someone that has 4 making our total combined children 6, they ask a lot of rude and extremely insensitive questions too. Most people hoard cats, receipts or old newspapers, I hoard children. I love your attitude about it. It is amazing how so many people think their attitude about family is what mainstream should be.
Thanks for sharing. Although if I met you in a store…I would never dream of commenting-Thanks for your reply. I am always telling my children that they are beautiful! In my entire life on the planet I have never met an ugly baby or child. As far as the beautiful or ugly comment…you should imagine that any child of mine has crazy sense of humour.
My remarks back are usually after I have sent the children in question on an errand in the store as I did not want them to hear any more rudeness after the first opening question. So, most if not all of the time my kids do not hear my comebacks with the exception of some of my teenagers. Thanks for the referral and kind words! How funny! I only had 4 children and got many of the same questions. I hope most comments regarding your family are meant with love and kindness. The one that bothers me the most is question 2. Some children may be surprises but none are accidents. Thanks for the post.
I will be much more thoughtful with my words next time i meet a large family. Thanks for your comments- Completely inundated with reponses…still going through the comments-thanks for your patience! This is one of the funniest things my partner and I have read in a while and you are obviously a very intelligent and capable mother. These people are inevitably thoughtless too. Large families were almost always associated with poverty and a lack of access to or ignorance of contraception. I do believe that it had an adverse effect on my mother second from last who somehow missed out and has been an ardent attention seeker all her life, unlike her siblings.
In the UK large families, fairly or otherwise, are usually mentioned in relation to reliance on state aid or immigration and at a time when the economy is in such a poor shape those who foot the bill really resent it. I hope they do so without attracting the nastiness you have to cope with but there will always be someone making a career out of putting them down. After centuries of fear about even surviving childbirth while at the same time being castigated for asking for contraception we have now reached a stage where attitudes are in reverse.
It will be difficult for some to get their heads around it. Thank you for your kind words and observations. Some people do handle parenthood better than others. Many people resent large families likely because somehow they immediately think that to raise a large family someone must be helping to pay the bill. I am sure that the people that assume the government must in some way be assisting my family with public funds. There are things that larger families will happily forgo.. People judge other people by only what they know themselves.
I am glad to have been responsible for some laughter in the UK-. Reblogged this on BisonWoman's Blog and commented: For my friends with large families. Thanks for the reblog! Brilliant post! I often got embarrassed when I was younger but I am also really defensive of my Mum having to deal with all of these questions! She will get a laugh. Thank you and for sharing the photo-beautiful. Always wanted to do that…the timer is key to success without a photograper! Haha this is great! Especially the little old ladies in our church.
Completely inundated with reponses…still going through the comments-thanks foryour comment and patience! This one was truly funny, because your rapier wit or is it just honed from multiple responses? My husband and I are very intelligent people, and believe we should pass on these great genes as much as we can.
I love the comebacks. I think the worst I did was raise an eyebrow once or twice, followed by a big smile and a wave at the little ones. Cheers Dan. I am not certain when people started viewing children as liabilities rather than assets, but I am so glad there are people out there who still have their priorities straight. I come from a family of three children and I have two children and find it hard to relate to a family with many children. Look forward to following your blog and learning more So if I meet you sometime, I can say something nice and not stupid.
I am sure if you already appreciate my humour and met me you would not ever have to worry about saying something stupid-The majority of the rude remarks are intended to be rude. If I think the inquiring individual is sincerely interested or not sure what to say and innocently wants to start a conversation I am very patient-. I laughed and laughed. Glad you liked it! Now I have some new ways to respond — thanks. Oh my GOD! I laughed my heart out! I liked the especially sarcastic ones, and I sincerely hope that you have used them in real life. I have been guilty of chatting to a woman with many children and asked if they are all hers, but out of all the questions, that is the most justified.
I sent the link of your blog to my Aunty, who is a mother of 9 children I think Honestly? I have lost count! Not sure if she has read it yet! Therefore, not that rude… Just inquisitive. Thanks for your comment! Absolutely fantastic! I looked, gasped and dropped my jaw from beginning to end! Every single one of those questions is just as rude and ignorant as the last. I totally rate you as a Mother raising a large family. My Mum comes from a family of six siblings, and my Dad comes from ten, and our extended family is huuuge! In fact my sisters and I are all different shades Black skin and people used to ask my Mum if my sister and I had the same Dad!
The look of horror on their faces was priceless- stupid questions get stupid answers! You deserve to have made it to freshly pressed :. Thanks for the comment and kind words. Only getting to approve comments now-the response was an avalanche of comments-a great reaction-totally unexpected. Lots of comments to read and approve-: Yep…stupid questions get silly answers-My focus has been to shut down the inappropriate conversation before it damages the children. In this context, I think everyone can understand my reaction- Glad you liked it and shared it-. Thanks for this article.
People are just curious. Thanks for your thoughts. I am tired of the walking-all-over-me I have been allowing without realizing! I too am a mom with a large family. I have had many of those same questions. Loved your replies! When I came into the world 50 years ago, everyone had five children or more and nobody thought to comment upon it except to share stories of their kids. Chesterton says that the astounding thing is that humans are so unlike the animals that they can choose to destroy the next generation in one simple leap from a cliff.
Thank you for NOT leaping from that cliff. These lies have led to this dangerous mythology that poor people, especially minorities, have big families just to get more welfare benefits. My friend is clearly solidly middle class, as were the children she was with. Because who would ever believe the truth there are those of us who love children, are able to cope with larger numbers and totally enjoy our lives…and work very hard to support our kids themselves.
Race, creed,income class mean nothing…it always boils down to just ignorant people stereotyping…and being very rude! In the best stores or the worst… I have had all the comments. So annoying. This is great! I now offer my word that I will never offer comments like this to anyone unless I actually know them!
As the third of seven children, I approve this message! Haha, the things my parents have been asked over the years…geez. We have 5 living children, and 2 that were stillborn. My mom shared this with me, I appreciate the laugh this morning. Pretty funny post! My answers have varied.
My husband likes to say that I wanted two and he wanted three, so we compromised with ten! I try to not be offended by the rude comments of strangers, realizing there was a time many years ago when I would have been equally shocked by a large family! Now, it just seems normal! I try to communicate to the floored strangers that Children are a Blessing!! Anyway, one positive outcome from questions, such as, Are they all yours??
You must have a lot of laughs over how stupid people can be. Great post — enjoy your family! Oh my goodness! This is a fabulous post and yet atrocious that people say things like that! I love the original Cheaper by the Dozen movie and there is a very funny segment where the parents have some fun with someone asking similar questions. It was rewarding to hear how happy you truly are with a big family. Thanks for your comment- I have been totally swamped with replies and only getting to moderate these now-Thanks for your patience-.
I think culture and society have shifted so much that anything beyond two children is considered a large family. Perhaps they feel they need to validate their own lifestyle choices by criticizing others. But as you said, it is what it is. That others have a problem with it is their problem. And there is certainly no need to voice in front of the children. Ditto…especially in front of the children!! I was one of five and that was a small family where I grew up!
One of my school friends were one of thirteen. I only have three but still get asked rude questions. When we were out the other day I was asked by a complete stranger if the youngest one was an accident or just an afterthought! There is only a three year age gap between her and my son, but I guess because he has just had his teenage growth spurt she seems a lot smaller and younger than he does. Completely inundated with reponses…still going through the comments-thanks your and for your patience!
For me, it has to do with my job, for others it could be their religion, race, lifestyle choices, you name it. What they WILL do is form a judgement about everyone in your demographic based on your response. That being said, there is the occasional jackass who is fully deserving of kick in the teeth.
What I really wanted to say was this. Very thought provoking post, thank you for writing it. People ask the silliest questions without even thinking. What a great way to approach the answers. I get some of these same comments, and I have just three kids. I grew up in a large family and loved it — sounds like you do too! I grew up as one of four. I am so blessed with who I have- Completely inundated with reponses…still going through the comments-thanks for yours and for your patience!
Great responses! Even three sounds like too small of a family to me at this point! You sound like you have such a beautiful family…some people are strange-laugh it is the only way! I love it!! I have the opposite problem and I actually wrote a post on it a few years ago…my husband has 2 amazing boys from a previous marriage and so we do not want any more. You just have to shake your head and laugh! Great post and congrats on getting Freshly Pressed! This was a hilarious post!
Well Said Thanks for your comment- I have been totally swamped with replies and only getting to moderate these now-Thanks for your patience-. This made me giggle. I only have two children of my own under the age of 4 , but I also have 4 nieces and nephews all under the age of 4. When I am taking care of my own kids and my nieces and nephews and take them out in public someplace crazy… like a library , I get the rudest questions.
I am not sure why people think it is okay to pose rude comments or questions to the following groups: People with lots of children People who are very overweight People who are very tall or very short People who have some obvious deformity or disability People who appear to be too old to be the parents of the children they are with. I wish our society had more grace and civility. So, how many kids do you have?
See a Problem?
You know, time is running out for you, you are not getting any younger… Have you heard of IVF? You can have mine. The worst one of them all, because I would really love to have some. I am part of an infertile couple. We have tried everything and we are still trying to cope with our reality. You are very blessed. Thanks for your comment-some people are very nosy and completely insensitive-sorry to hear you are going through what you are.
I am totally blessed it is true. What is the best comeback you have found to shut down these questions understandably no comment may make the most sense? As the daughter of someone from a large 15 child family, and having 7 siblings myself, I really appreciate this post. Lucky for you and your family, those same sensible Cap traits also help you to be a great mom.
But thanks for pointing that out!
Curious, do people question your husband too? It seems that women get singled out for these types of questions! I guess some people are just busy bodies, looking for any excuse to pry. Thanks for your comment and kinds words. The questions my husband gets asked are similar but he tends to attract more nice comments. I think if a woman is commenting to another woman she may be less inhibited than making those types of comments to a male.
I have no idea if I am correct…I am going to pay closer attention and see if there is a trend! Amazing how insensitive people can be without even realizing it. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed. I will try and do a blog on this in the future but right now the short answer… I believe that the gift I am giving my children with siblings friends for life , and the life survival skills my children will learn by having to consider others, share, work to attain things and value placed on things that are more important than money, greatly outweigh the restrictions placed on my kids with regards to private lessons, brand name clothes, trips, extensive sports etc… I am someone who saves ALL the clothes and puts them away clean marked and I reuse for the next child.
I reuse everything and pass everything down my best friend could not believe with my youngest child I had her dressed in outfits that were 18 years old and looked brand new because I took care of them , my husband and I work opposite shifts and have for 18 years so we have no childcare expenses then again who would sign up for that position - I do not care to have the latest vehicle, I do not travel and rarely if ever eat out-Anyway- I will try to post something more detailed in the future-It can be done!
I really enjoyed reading your post! I really need to do like you did and come up with a great response…HA! I think the average person family is a pretty recent phenomenon. Both my parents grew up with lots of brothers and sisters and grandparents! I hope to have many kids one day…. I grew up in a family of 9 kids, one passed away. I loved growing up in a big family… so many fun times. My mom got asked these questions all the time. Sometime people can be so hurtful. Love this post. Thanks for your comment and kind words-I think that is that part that is really surprising a lot of folks…these questions are REAL-.
Loved reading your post! Asking questions like that is plain rude. Aunts can be like that…there are a few in my family-Glad you enjoyed the post- Thanks for your comment-. Boy that I love this one…. Oh I loved this! Congrats on all the children! Awesome if i can come up with these kind of answers every time life would have been amazing. Thank you for laughing at the world and making us laugh. Many of my response are comedic effect to get the interviewer to stop for the reasons I listed above. To address why I have children: I like children and I do believe that children are our future and as such I should contribute to the future.
I also believe that a child raised in a home within a larger family is more socialized, is more content with less, better understands the concept of having to work to achieve as well as the value of getting along with each other regardless of differences. You have decided I cannot afford them? Do you or anyone else who stumbles upon me know this to be true? Attention and love have almost nothing to do with material things. I really do not consider myself snooty… perhaps I am and not aware and people can stare all they want. The just should not be asking the kinds of questions they are in front of my children.
Thanks for your response-a little late getting back to you.. I do apologize but I was totally swamped with replies…. My Mom did get the old woman who lived in a shoe question once — THAT was the one that actually made her angry! She did dye her hair before she went into the hospital to have me because she did not want to be the only woman in delivery with prematurely gray hair which I also have.
We have three children and the second one has a disability — the questions about why we had our third child, while much less frequent, are often more outrageous than the ones you get. Bless you and yours. How Wonderful! I am a mother of 6 and would have welcomed many more! Now we have 13 grandchildren, 16 great-grandchildren, and I sure hope it never ends! Thanks- I look forward to the enormity of your blessings as I age…I have my first granddaughter all of 4 months old! I ask the same in return, as I have a built-in lap for snuggles.
I mean, adoption is a great thing; why would it be a bad thing for random strangers to assume? The adopted notion is not the issue. Adoption is a beautiful thing and not in the least offensive. The issue is the discussion of private and personal choices in detail by a stranger in front of little ears. As the mother of ten, and now grandmother of 17 and great grandmother of 3, I experienced some of the same dumb questions. Absolutely…and please let us know when the book is published love to read it!
My favorite blog post EVER!! I know a few women from my college days who wanted big families like yours, and now have them. As in, one woman had quintuplets with her first pregnancy!